I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You've changed since you got that strap on
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
