I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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