If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
