What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
high people should be assigned attendants
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
