no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
