I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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