I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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