Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
