i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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