I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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