his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
