Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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