He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
