my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
