I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
