I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize