i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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