There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
