The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize