I threw up into my coffee this morning.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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