I heard we made out
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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