Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
