I heard we made out
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I need to sanitize my soul.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
