You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
My ATM looks so different sober.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
