he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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