now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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