70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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