i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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