You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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