my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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