Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
