Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
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