The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
