i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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