Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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