Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Also, beer. Big fan.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
