K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
