Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize