For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
