I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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