they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
