Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Is her dick bigger than yours?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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