Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
