Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
