i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
