Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
