OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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