bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
