Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
