I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
