11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
