i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
