Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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