I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
