I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
