Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
