if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize
