both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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