so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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