i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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